Living in a fast-paced culture with a need for an instant fix, we prefer to skip the hoops of forgiveness. We push aside the lessons to be learned and tell ourselves we do not have the time to deal with it, so we park it for a rainy day.
In my profession, I engage with people who have been hurt, rejected, abandoned, and traumatised or all of the above for whichever reason. In dealing with the tremendous emotion that comes out of these experiences, we tend to link them with forgiveness. We are taught and come to believe that we will manage the intense emotion, if we could only forgive and then hopefully in time, forget, and our lives can continue.
The truth is forgiveness is an act of True-self and has nothing to do with the other person nor the emotion. We tell ourselves to enable us to forgive, and we need to let go of what is holding us back. In reality, we are shackled to our beliefs through our thoughts, perceptions and emotions – causal in the roundabout social norm of Tit for Tat.
We learn that if somebody hurts us and we feel negative emotion towards them, we need to forgive them. However, before arriving at that point, a questioning process could go a long way in testing the reality of the perception. For example: Have they, in fact, wronged us? Did we have control over what they did and how they reacted towards us? Are we looking for a reason to justify why we feel the way we do?
In reality, we are experiencing an unmet expectation. Disappointed in our perception, we believe we need to take it personally and feel offended. The reality is that we experience life as feedback from other people instead of experiencing it for who we are.
Take a moment and think about who you are. Are you hurt? Are you rejected? Abandoned? Is it true? Are you be hurt, or are you feeling an emotion that is against one of your core values? Apply this to other emotions, and you might find that it has nothing to do with the person you think hurt you, but instead, it was a trigger for your own beliefs.
What am I saying? To clarify, I am saying if I live my life true to who I am, confident, loving, caring, understanding, positive, why would I hold on to anger, feel insecure, allow myself to be traumatised or even think that I am abandoned if that is not part of who I am.
If this is true and I live my life according to my values, my authentic self, how can the negative emotions linked to forgiveness be evident in my life? The more I live true to myself, the more forgiveness becomes irrelevant.
My question to you now is, why would you want to forgive if you live true to who you are?
Forgiveness is an act of True-self and shows up automatically without having to release anything.
Make the choice today, be you and live a life free of the limitations of Forgiveness.